Recall

The whole Toyota Death Car scare stinks like the public face of some wider move at freaking the shit out of us for fun and profit.

And of course that means mostly profit. So who’s paying the bills on this one?  CNN and other scavangers have taken what sounds like a few freak misshaps and tortured it into The Fall Of The Import Car Maker. Breathless reports of cars driving off by themselves, with your credit cards, running up massive bills at seedy hotels and implicating you in federal crimes…  It’s Troubling, we’re assured.

The main evidence of the New Troubling news is a rumor that a Prius in Japan had maybe once lost a little breaking power. No other details are given. Just. Troubling.

Now here in the US, we’re likely to ignore any hint of a rumor of bad news about our own cars, until some asshole actually sets one on fire.  But it looks like the the press is really excited about humping this one, without a lot of meat to show. No real problem, as the whole mess is the doing of those treacherous Japanese, who violently persist in remaining foreign. Talking heads bravely betray only a hint of glee in thier Deep Concern.

That’s what’s causing the foul reek of this story, the stink of enthusiasm I see in the reporters going after dribbles of facts, with the kind of energy that only comes from upstairs.

Nah, it’s probably nothing. I’m sure we won’t hear any more about terrifying defects turning Rill Americans into burnt toast, and I’m positive it won’t be blamed on (… let’s see, who’s next, Hyundai?) car companies with ethnic names. But seriously, who’d want one anyway? Why, just looking at the News Box right now, I can plainly see the virtues of buying a Cadillac. They must be safe, and the honest folks at CNN must agree, if they show so many of those darn GM ads.

So forget it, I say. Keep driving that Toyota.

If you dare.

-c