The whole Toyota Death Car scare stinks like the public face of some wider move at freaking the shit out of us for fun and profit.

And of course that means mostly profit. So who’s paying the bills on this one?  CNN and other scavangers have taken what sounds like a few freak misshaps and tortured it into The Fall Of The Import Car Maker. Breathless reports of cars driving off by themselves, with your credit cards, running up massive bills at seedy hotels and implicating you in federal crimes…  It’s Troubling, we’re assured.

The main evidence of the New Troubling news is a rumor that a Prius in Japan had maybe once lost a little breaking power. No other details are given. Just. Troubling.

Now here in the US, we’re likely to ignore any hint of a rumor of bad news about our own cars, until some asshole actually sets one on fire.  But it looks like the the press is really excited about humping this one, without a lot of meat to show. No real problem, as the whole mess is the doing of those treacherous Japanese, who violently persist in remaining foreign. Talking heads bravely betray only a hint of glee in thier Deep Concern.

That’s what’s causing the foul reek of this story, the stink of enthusiasm I see in the reporters going after dribbles of facts, with the kind of energy that only comes from upstairs.

Nah, it’s probably nothing. I’m sure we won’t hear any more about terrifying defects turning Rill Americans into burnt toast, and I’m positive it won’t be blamed on (… let’s see, who’s next, Hyundai?) car companies with ethnic names. But seriously, who’d want one anyway? Why, just looking at the News Box right now, I can plainly see the virtues of buying a Cadillac. They must be safe, and the honest folks at CNN must agree, if they show so many of those darn GM ads.

So forget it, I say. Keep driving that Toyota.

If you dare.



~ by ChrissyOne on February 3, 2010.

3 Responses to “Recall”


    Akio Toyoda is speaking to congress about what an awful, naughty jerk he’s been. I can only surmise that Akio’s final solution can’t be long in coming, but that depends on his personal level of commitment to his company.
    Of course, the US auto makers sitting just behind those house members aren’t going to be satisfied with anything less than full, x-rated torture porn. It doesn’t look good for Akio, folks.


    The Toyota Terror story is getting a fresh load of hay today, and a man claims to have to have been taken for a “wild ride” in his out-of-control Prius.
    Things are downright scary until the 911 operator asks the nervous driver:
    “Did you try putting the car in neutral?”
    This question is followed by an pause that goes way beyond pregnant and well into Octo-mom.
    [wimpers] *no*
    You can almost hear the frenzied ‘oh fuck’ in his breath. ‘what to say?!?!?’

    Not buying it.


    Seems the Runaway Toyota *might* have been a hoax..!
    Inconceivable!! Who could have guessed this?!

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